Sometimes life gives you lemons, and as the saying goes when it does make lemonade. Turn a s**t situation into a good one. I know that is so much easier to say than to actually do, but it really is the best advice and I always try to apply it to my life during times of heartbreak or strive.
Heartbreak affects everybody at one time or another. It unleashes it’s undiscriminating trail of destruction, twisting and turning through life like a tornado, hell-bent on inflicting as much pain as possible. Quite often its target, completely unprepared – left blindsided and staggered.
As it leaves you reeling, heartbreak quite simply moves on to someone else. It is a part of life that we all have to endure and quite frankly there is no avoiding it.
However, there are things you can do to lessen the pain or speed up the process of devastation.
This is the first thing you need to tell yourself. The longer you dwell on what’s just happened to you, the longer you prolong your pain. It seems quite obvious, but keep telling yourself this and it will make it so much easier to come to the decision to move on.
You can’t change anything, what is done is done and now it is time to think about what you need to do to start carving out a new future for yourself. You are the master of your own destiny. So think about how you can reinvent yourself.
Feel The Pain.
Don’t ignore your pain. It’s real and you need to feel it in all its entirety. It will help you to become who you need to be as you carry your experience of the pain you felt. Don’t try to hide from the pain – embrace it.
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. ~ Jim Morrison.
Talk (a lot)
Talking really is the best therapy, and/or so is writing. Expressing how you feel is essential for you to absorb and accept your loss. You could see a professional to help you evaluate your thoughts or talk to a trusted friend, even better if your friend is known for being frank and candid, because they won’t sugar coat your grief, they will help you see more clearly much quicker than a friend who tells you what you want to hear.
Explore why you think the break-up happened and accept that maybe it simply wasn’t to be. Learn from any mistakes you made and don’t blame yourself for the mistakes they made. Take responsibility for your part in it and own it.
You will grieve for a while and at times you will feel overwhelmed by your emotions. It is only natural and a process that has to be experienced. You cant skip heartbreak, it is there to teach you valuable lessons and even though it is the last thing you want to hear right now, it is the truth.
Avoid lingering in grief too long. You must force yourself up and out. Get out of bed, take a shower and make arrangements to do something. You need distractions. You can still cry and feel your pain but don’t allow it to define you. Accept that you may have days that are hard, but ask yourself this ‘how do you think you would feel if your pain disappeared completely?‘ You’d feel good right? Probably energised and excited about new things coming your way, even if you don’t yet know what they are? So why can’t you feel that now? Seriously.
Force yourself to feel excited for your future. You are at the start of a new journey in your life, a fresh start and you can be whoever you want to be. Make it an adventure. So let go and make it count. Make your pain worth it. Let Go of the past, the future is waiting.